Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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