I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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