And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
