My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize