I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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