I just cut my nipple shaving
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
