I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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