the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
