It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
