why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
