I accidentally had phone sex last night
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
