i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
