i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
