remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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