Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
