rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
