I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
