Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
