And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
