i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
