Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I will be naked everywhere
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize