dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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