He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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