have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
