Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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