Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
ok first of all what the fuck
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
