I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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