if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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