garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
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My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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