there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
