Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
