I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
