I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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