My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
