Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
