He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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