why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You're a waste of cheezeits
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
