If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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