i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
