i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
