It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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