omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
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You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize