Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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