U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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