I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
