I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize