Betty ford says i'm here all night
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
