soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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