This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
