i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just pynch a tree in the face
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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