At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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