SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
