The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm jealous of your bromance
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
