windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
