Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
