I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You smell like stripper and shame
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
