I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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