So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
