Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
